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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

the more things change, the more they remain the same

Dear Blonde,

Wow. I'm not really sure how to start this. I just spent a good hour re-reading this entire blog from the beginning...and I can't believe how much has changed in a year and a half. It's kind of insane. Like I started off with that guy at Biola...I think his name was Michael? I honestly don't remember. He will be forever known as Stephen hahahahahahahahahahaha (WOW I AM SO MATURE IN MY THINKING). I wrote about how I was SO NERVOUS trying to talk to him or how I got SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED when he happened to sit 5 feet away from me at lunch, and only because his best friend wasn't there. Yeah, I'd see him once a week...and sooooooo much happened between us. Ha, joke. Absoloutely nothing did, which is why I can't even remember his name. It's so weird how things change...hahaha but it's so embarrassing reading those old posts of mine. Oh my goshhh:)

Well, neither of us has posted in more than 6 months, so you could say that we're a little behind. So, I guess we should attempt to catch up? Alright, so as far as the more "prevalent" issues on this blog go...

Sean went out with K...yeah. Then he broke up with her...yeah. No comment.

It's kind of funny how Johnny was mentioned in a few of these posts. Like even the one right below this one. That was back when I didn't even know him, and now...hahahahaha well. Things are a lot different. Hahahaha yeeeahhhhhh. A lot different. Obviously? Anyway.

What else? Ahh I feel like I can't even sum up what happened in the past 7 months...because I really don't know. That sounds weird. But honestly, the last maybe...4 months? of freshman year really kinda sucked. Well, some parts were fantastic and amazing and I loved every second of it (hehe....). But the rest just sucked. Too much drama and conflict and bleh. But the good news is that all the drama and gross stuff isn't really bugging me anymore. Summer is nice in that way - you get a break from all the stupid stuff that goes on at school EVERY DAY - and you can finally take a second to breathe. So that is why I'm not going to try and explain everything that went on since I last posted...cuz it's impossible. It's been a blur. I remember the first semester more than I do the second. Is that weird? Idk. Everything just seemed happier and brighter the first half of the year. Then there were some definite rough spots after. But overall, I guess the year was good. I really don't know how to explain it other than by saying it was nothing like I expected. But I suppose that's good in a way. I never expected to meet the people that I did, to form the relationships I did, and to change the way I did. I think I have changed. But not because I feel the need to fit in or have people like me. I know there are some people who hate me at school, for whatever reason. There are some people that I...uh...STRONGLY DISLIKE. But I'm over it, if you know what I mean. I'm completely comfortable with who I am, and I think that's the only way you can have TRUE friends. I learned that. If you're completely honest with being yourself, then you're bound to be completely honest with other people. And there are going to be some people who don't like you for who you are. But you know what? None of them matter in the end. In fact, they never did. Your real friends are the ones who love you despite your flaws. And they are going to be the ones who are there when you need them the most.

Babbling much? Yeah. Kinda. But hey...I have a right to babble after 7 months of utter and complete SILENCE! I think I'll post again soon. I forgot how much I liked this little blog. Even though we don't really talk anymore, I still care about you and I hope you're doing great. Post back?;) I want to hear what you thought of freshman year too! Oh hey, guess what? WE'RE SOPHOMORES!

Love and rockets,
Brunette.

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